The Way Of You And Me
by WriterEm
Summary: Follows 'All Those Things People Used To Say'


Like usual, when he finds himself confronted by a situation of confusion thanks to the opposite sex, he reacts by finding another woman. It's a kind of self destructive behaviour because it really only compounds his sense of confusion by adding more trouble to it. He supposes that there was a short time where he wouldn't run away to have meaningless sex with a one night stand, instead he'd run to Lemon. However seeing as he is no longer speaking to Lemon he finds himself running to a blonde supermodel that may or may not have a surname which rhymes with Glum. (It may, because it does rhyme with Glum. And she's married. Who knew he had the power to make a supermodel cheat on her husband? A husband with a ridiculous animal name and some sort of addiction to impregnating Glum...)

Anyway, Jack invites Glum back to his apartment because really, her place is not an option (the husband) and he proceeds to have sex with her. Luckily, because although he'd never admit it aloud he is getting old and isn't as energetic as he once was, she does most of the work, or rather all of it, but she doesn't seem to mind. In fact she doesn't really look his way, just keeps bobbing on top of him, her blonde hair flying about. This should be hot, it should be consuming all of his attention, and yet.. And yet he finds himself thinking about someone else. Something that has never happened to him before, except for the times he purposely thinks about Dick Cheney in order to prevent an incident of premature ejaculation. And he definitely didn't envisage himself thinking about Lemon whilst he's having sex with a supermodel. But he does think about her, he pictures her face above him, her brown hair flying about, and his hands on her skin. His hips jerk involuntarily hard when he thinks about his hands being on Lemons skin, on her breasts, and then Glum's clenching around him (her muscles are surprisingly tight for someone whose had so many children) and then he's coming. By the time he stops panting Glum has already left the bed and is starting to dress, and then quickly leaves. He should feel insulted yet, he doesn't, he feels relieved. Because he feels like he's about to have a heart attack, and he feels like he's actually in the middle of some sort of midlife crisis. He has enough whiskeys to send him into a sleep.

He wakes the next morning from the worst night's sleep he's had in years and decides that he has to do something, make a change, because the first thing he thinks of is Lemon. He eats breakfast and wonders what Lemon would think about his choice of pancakes and bacon. He spends the journey to work talking to his driver because every time his mind drifts it drifts to Lemon. Arriving at work he sits in his office for 10 minutes before having to leave, he journeys to the writer's room because he figures that'll be the loudest place able to take his mind away from Lemon. He tells Pete that he's there to see how the writers are coping with out Lemon. He soon realises that Jenna and Tracy frequent the writer's domain surprisingly often, and they don't seem to annoy the writers, if anything they inspire more ideas. Being in the writers room goes well until Lutz decides to make what seems like the 200th Fart joke. It all goes downhill from there as Frank then decides to take his pants off for no reason and Jack realises that he can't live like this. He decides to ask Tracy for his advice because for all his idiocy there have been an overwhelming number of times where his advice has been quite helpful.

It's with that last thought in mind that he steps into Tracy's dressing room. He nods his head at Griss and DotCom and they make a quick exit.

"What's up Jackie D?" Tracy asks as his entourage leaves.

"I have a situation Tracy. A love problem."

"Oh right, well then the Love Doctor is in."

"Er, right. This stays between us right?"

"Sure thing!"

"Ok, well, it's Lemon."

"Lemon? Liz Lemon?"

"Yes"

"Wait. Crazy white chick Liz Lemon?"

Jack inhaled sharply. "Yes Tracy. That Liz Lemon."

"Whoa Jackie D, that is heavy. She is...she's crazy."

"Thank you."

"No, wait I'm sorry, what do you need the love doctor for?"

"Well the thing is I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm in love with her or not. Because she's not the sort of woman I usually see. She's pretty much the opposite. It's just she's Lemon, and there's so many women who are not Lemon's. Women who, say, model lingerie for a living. Women much more compatible with me."

"Jack, I want to talk serious for a minute. My Angie is not a stripper, so when I met her I didn't want to take her round the back of the school and impregnate her, but then one night she helped me out and LONG STORY! But I realised that she's beautiful in a different way Jack. She may not be a model but she's amazing. And that's what's important Donaghy, that's why I've never cheated on her, because she's different. DIFFERENT. Different is what you need, someone who knows you and your wardrobe of high heels."

Jack can't speak for a moment, trying to formulate a response to the most unclear explanation which somehow he completely understands and suddenly realises exactly what he's supposed to do.


End file.
